Wednesday, May 27, 2009

διαχωριστική γραμμή

About to head home... Dead city tonight. Not feeling too well. Coming down with a cold, spirits are down, lonely, horny, but if I act on any of it, broken hearts. What I want isn't ready, nor available right now, and what wants me are all too fragile and young. The term and notion of "love" is being passed around more than the collection plate on a sabbath.... Except no one is cashing in.

This was the only positive thing tonight.... 3am 13 Coins bucket of clams.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Δολοφονία για την επιχείρηση

I couldn't stop myself
I knew I'd do it again
But I could heal myself,
If I could feel your skin
And if I comprehend this moment
I know we'll live again
And if I heal your wound
We will make love again
And now we're slipping through this millenium
We should feel sorry for the people
Can I kiss your skin?
And there's hunger in the desert.
And missiles in the sky
And every soul is interwoven
Before the wrong or right
I know we'll live again
Though it's just a feeling
I know we'll never end
I'll keep you company


KILLING FOR COMPANY....


How long will I last like this? How long?

Προχωρημένες ώρες

Late long hours as I sit here in China Town and type. Hanoi Rocks "Don't You Ever Leave Me" up loud on the stereo.... One of the slowest nights for me in a very long time. I guess everyone is over it after Memorial Day Weekend huh?

Thoughts crossed my mind of wanting kids tonight. Strong thoughts. Almost an instinctual feeling came across me. The thought has never scared me. I just find beauty in freedom. Freedom to take your time, to be selfish, even freedom to procrastinate. Thats the beauty of my lifestyle right now. But I think I would have a lot to offer. It's a lot to ponder.

As of right now, I'm just starting to feel like I'm actually growing up in so many ways. I spent a great, great deal alone when I was young. Especially the time when all my Father, Mother and Brother were cab driving at the same time at night. It was completely normal to find myself home alone @ 12 years old til 2am or later. I figured an awful lot about living, and keeping myself busy. I grew up independent, street smart, and logical for the most part. But, i also lacked a lot of guidance. Guidance that transforms into becoming an adult. Managing money, simple things... I lacked these skills. I'm finally mastering these things. It feels good.

One more hour to go....

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Τρόπος να είναι παχύς

BBQ, drinks, Melvins courtesy of Ben Shepard, food. However right as I was getting to sleep, I get a call @ 5am about one of my cars not starting. No big deal, its just a bad battery. Won't charge. Cool, I'll just swap it out. 2 hours later, and a fight with a ridiculously stubborn battery clamp rod bolt, I got it changed. Yee haw! Off to bed...

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Interesting night tonight. Just got home from a sloppy wet downpour of a night. Slammed then dead... slammed then dead, repeat. However I was given this amazing bottle as a gift of Beams Choice Bourbon Whisky bottled in 1969 from a regular of mine who's a bartender. Extremely sweet of her. 86 proof and was bottled over 8 years old, which brings its age to 49 years old... I'm doing research on this bottle which has serial numbers.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Just got home from working all night. Good night especially for a Sunday. A lot of fun, and The $$$ was good. You know it's a good night when you find this in the backseat of your car.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

κυνηγός

You are not inspiration... Maybe let me step back just enough to say, you inspire me to realize you are nothing original. Believe me when I say I am not here to self loathe... I pass as you decide whether I'm the next cool thing to talk to, or too last year to talk to... Your own decisions are hard to make when you're not paying attention to the ones who are hunting you, breathing down your neck.... Right there, so close. Blurry visioned, field of vision is far from focused... Keep processing, keep deliberating. Final days will arrive, and you may have just caught the one. The one your hunter told you was evil......

Sunday, May 10, 2009

θυμός

Un-dealt demons.... You never see... Deaf ears will pay. Logic stares you in the face, but bleeds out the same way it goes in. I tremble to hold back my anger, but I will not be who I am proving to not be. I barely have the strength to do so, but I sit here proud but still frustrated.