Late long hours as I sit here in China Town and type. Hanoi Rocks "Don't You Ever Leave Me" up loud on the stereo.... One of the slowest nights for me in a very long time. I guess everyone is over it after Memorial Day Weekend huh?
Thoughts crossed my mind of wanting kids tonight. Strong thoughts. Almost an instinctual feeling came across me. The thought has never scared me. I just find beauty in freedom. Freedom to take your time, to be selfish, even freedom to procrastinate. Thats the beauty of my lifestyle right now. But I think I would have a lot to offer. It's a lot to ponder.
As of right now, I'm just starting to feel like I'm actually growing up in so many ways. I spent a great, great deal alone when I was young. Especially the time when all my Father, Mother and Brother were cab driving at the same time at night. It was completely normal to find myself home alone @ 12 years old til 2am or later. I figured an awful lot about living, and keeping myself busy. I grew up independent, street smart, and logical for the most part. But, i also lacked a lot of guidance. Guidance that transforms into becoming an adult. Managing money, simple things... I lacked these skills. I'm finally mastering these things. It feels good.
One more hour to go....